I miss my kids, But!!!!

I am 29years old, married and have 3 handsome boys. I got married at a very early stage, I was 20yrs when I met and married my husband.
So far marriage has been blissful and peaceful. I live at the North central part of nigeria and enjoy my home and peace within the city.
My husband is very loving, attends to my needs and spoils me once in a while. He is not perfect and definitely has he short comings but he is a family oriented man and cares for me and the children.
All of a sudden, my husband keeps late nights, having numerous girlfriends and his attention to the home front started to withdraw. This behavior started when we had our second son.
He graduated from late nights to the occasional beating and he has even gone as far as locking me out of the house. He now has an uncontrollable temper that even makes him to set all my clothes on fire; after which he apologized and bought me new sets of clothes.
But what I don't seem to get and understand is his insecurities, his the one cheating yet I am the one taking the heat. He has stopped me from keeping friends or even going out.
My husband prides himself with endless lies and deceit. One fateful day that he was out as usual, he called and said he has been arrested by the police and won't be coming home that day. Of course I was worried and scared, I asked my husband to provide the details of the police station and his whereabouts so I can come and bail him out; before I knew it he said the police has suddenly released him. Hmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!
As if that's not enough, he ordered me not to be friends with his best friend's wife; he never gave me a reason.
Just last week I updated a picture on my phone with this same lady he said I shouldn't be friends with. My husband comes home and beats the hell out of me in the presence of my neighbors. They asked that he stopped and pleaded but he kept on.
He immediately dragged me into his car and drove off, I didn't know our destination. To my greatest surprise he dropped me at my mother's house in Enugu and threw me out of his car and left.
My mother asked what had happened and after several hours of intense and heated discussions, my mother said I should go and see my mother in law.
Of course my mother in law wasn't on my side, she said she can't take me in that her son has already made allegations that I sleep around with other men, I'm a drunk and that I hang out with bad women. She doesn't want to have anything to do with me.
I looked at myself and returned to my mother in tears and just yesterday his mother came over to our house to plead on his behalf that my children are crying for their mother and her son said he did not divorce me. But brought me home to learn godly values and behaviors, that he will be coming to take me back home.
I just can't believe this. Did I marry a mad man? But I love my children and don't want to leave them alone. I am contemplating going back with him for the sake of my children. My family, my mum and brothers are insisting that I shouldn't go back. I am confused, please help me......

STORY OF A TAXI DRIVER(Stroke of fate)

Hmmmm...Today I had an appointment to catch up with in maitama, I could not drive down myself due to this long unfriendly fuel queue, hence I decided to hike a cab to meet up.barely five minutes after the cab moved, the taxi man looked at my hand and saw that I was wearing a wedding band and he said; aunty I know you are a married woman so I will like to ask you a question, I asked him to go ahead with his question wondering what on earth could this question possibly be.and the question came thus"if a husband ask his wife not to do some certain things and she keeps doing them,and also disrespecting her husband before neighbours,  What should the man do'? *Smile* for a second I paused and smiled thinking how did he know I was into relationship stuff? Well that's by the way, and then I was hoping the man is not enslaving his wife,because  that will be totally unacceptable and the man turned to me and said "aunty na me' my wife dey bully me,what that means for those that Dont understand pidgin english is, his wife bullies him. He said to me that whenever they have an argument or misunderstanding, she pulls his mouth telling him to keep quite and stop talking like a woman.*Sad* "she locks me out of the house I built in maraba from my hard sweat, and decided to add a shop for her which she uses as a salon.if I tell her not to open the saloon on sundays she will lock the shop and put chairs outside to attend to customers .whenever I come home later than 9pm, due to traffic and the nature of my job , instead of serving me my dinner, she gives the food to our dog right in front of me ,and says its my punishment for coming home late. this among numerous humilations...am runing out of patience to beat her and throw her out but this is the wife I married & would not want to inflict injuries on her...what do I do? And I said to him that i actually have a forum where we discuss relationship matters, though I'm not a marriage counselor, but he should give me his contact.I will put up your story on my blog and get others opinion then get back to u. But until i get back to you please dont let her push you to the point of hitting her.My dear readers, please advice! I need to get back to him as promised.  But do we actually have women who beat up their husbands?

Over experienced sister in-law

Eneche please tell my sister in-law to leave my marriage alone.

I don't have a perfect home but at least I had peace of mind before my sister inlaw came into the picture. I am 27years old and have being married for 2years. Everything has been going very well until her interference.
This woman in question is a 40yr old divorcee. She moved into my home immediately after her separation from her husband. Ever since then she wants to be in control, she feels that she is right and I am always wrong. She feels she knows how best I should run the home, since the man is her brother.
I now have to take permission from her before I cook because according to her she's on a special diet and we can't be wasting her brothers money by cooking 2 different meals.
I was was down with malaria a couple of days ago and was unable make breakfast. I asked my house help to go ahead and make breakfast, only for my sister in-law to come to my room screaming and yelling that why the hell will I tell a maid to cook for her. In the heat of the moment, I tried to calm her down and explain that I wasn't feeling too well. She made a very lousy comment that when my maid snatches my husband, I shouldn't come to her crying. That we young ladies do not know how to keep our men.
And then I asked myself, if she was so good and knows how to keep a man, how come her own husband no stay na???see me see wahala....
Ever since she moved in, she now makes my husband pick on every little action I make or do. I am positive that she is feeding my husband with lies and gossips.
I don't want to loose my home like her please ask her to leave and stop being a monitoring spirit in my home.

Sister in-law they say I should beg you ooo😁😁

My wife still loves her Ex boyfriend

I sit here confused and thinking were did I go wrong? Who do I talk to? Who can I share this heavy burden with?. Finally I get the courage to speak up on this blog after I saw the first male post on here.

I am a good man with a lovely family and I certainly know that I am not perfect.
I love my wife so much and she is also a good woman in her every way. She is a very social woman who has values and is well behaved. We have been married for 10years without hiccups except the usual husband and wife little misunderstandings...untill my wife shocked me with a confession that has made me contemplate murder or even suicide. My wife dated her first ever boyfriend and parted ways (according to her) without breaking up or ending things. Back then she was madly in love with him and never thought she could leave without him. 7years into our marriage she got a strange call which happened to be the guy who came across a common friend that gave him my wife's contact they kept talking and chatting like normal friends until the guy came down to nigeria and on sighting each other their love struck again.
This act produced a child whom all along I have been thinking is my 4th child whom I adore and love so much. This child came in when we decided and agreed we will only have three kids. But you know how these things are and I thought oh yea this was a mistake; an unplanned pregnancy as we call it. 
The guy left back to canada but they are fully in-touch. With this shocker that makes me terrified but still I am ready to forgive my wife for the sake of our children and the love That we shared. But my biggest challenge is that my wife wants to leave me. She claims she is still madly in love with this guy and wants to be with him. She has even decided to move to Canada and be with him. She is ready to give up everything for this guy.
I have begged despite all odds but she said she can't help it except God helps her. This is just beyond me and I can't guarantee my next line of action. I am like a walking corpse, my mind is a million miles and not here with me. I have cried, I have wept; these days I avoid friends and relatives in-order not to let people know what is going on; I'm hoping we can still settle this, I'm hoping I can still convince her to stay. Please help me; I'm loosing my mind here.

Mrs. Victoria Ambakadrimo, who stabbed husband to death remanded in prison

Mrs. Victoria Ambakadrimo, on february 4 2015 stabbed her husband Late Barr.Henry Gagariga, to death with a kitchen knife on the throat ,around 11pm after a quarrel in their Bayelsa home,finally appeared before a state high court in Yenagoa for the first time.

The presiding judge, Justice A.S Rotimi, adjourned proceeding to 18th June 2015, to enable the prosecuting (the state) hand over certain forensic evidences to the defence counsels before hearing commence.
However, an appeal by the prosecuting counsel to have Victoria remanded at the Okaka medium security prison in Yenagoa until final judgment is read was granted.

Though the accused Victoria pleaded not guilty to the one count charge of murder leveled against her, she cried through out the hearing even to the point when she was escorted to prison at the end of the court session. However, an appeal by the prosecuting counsel to have Victoria remanded at the Okaka medium security prison in Yenagoa until final judgment is read was granted.

From Hot size 8 to 16

From a male doasw reader.

Dear Eneche

I met my wife in a club few years ago,she was doing her youth service in Abuja.
Immediately I saw her I knew that she was the chosen one. I didn't need any prophecy to confirm that she was mine. I remember that she was with some wild looking girls that night but there was something about her that struck me; also not to forget that not all church girls are wife material.

I asked her for her number and she declined; but as a sharp guy I was able to get her number from one of her friends that night. As usual she was forming and fronting but we started talking and should I say the rest is history.
My wife was tall, dark and beautiful. Mehn!! my wife was a hot size 8 chic when we met. I am very sure if she contested with agbani then she would have won. But just after 2 kids my wife is looking like my grandmother.

She is so dirty and unkept; I'm sorry for my choice of language, that's the only way to describe how she is now. She is always looking confused as if she's the first person to have kids. I understand that it's not easy for her but my wife doesn't bother to dress up or do the things that got me attracted to her.
My wife as we speak is a size 16! Yes you heard me right. I saw the bold and beautiful before I decided to go for a model as a wife; and I thought to myself then worse case after kids she will be a size 12 or something.
I understand she's given birth but I mean I know people that have kids and still look good even with their size.

My wife can stay all day eating and watching African magic yoruba. I have talked to her severally and about starting a business while waiting for a job but she keeps saying she can't be dragging debt with people. So now her full time job is Dstv channel 157.
Please I'm not giving excuses or trying to justify why men cheat I'm just speaking for myself. No matter how a man loves a woman their some things that puts one off.

I thank you for creating this medium for all to interact but please encourage your fellow married ladies that marriage shouldn't change their way of life negatively. We like our wives to look hot for us. There are devourers in this town.

By the way I think I should get a prize for being the first male on the blog to speak up. In everything I've said, I still love my wife.

Ladies corner by Mary Azumara

Are you a married woman or in a serious relationship? If yes you need to read this.
Rules to live by:

1. Are you happy in your marriage/relationship? If Yes, keep doing whatever it is you're doing and always give room for improvement. If No, find ways to be happy without your partner, also find ways to bring your partner closer, find things that you guys can do together as a couple, it strengthens a relationship.

2. You find out your partner is cheating on you; what are you going to do? Will you call off the relationship or divorce? If your answer is Yes, that's good go for it. If your answer is No then try and resolve what caused it in the first place. I always ask myself if you are not going to divorce then no point knowing if his cheating or if he cheated on you. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying every man should cheat and shouldn't be penalized for doing so but guess what whether you like to hear it or not; it's a bloody man's world, and men get away with a lot. Pray you're never faced with a cheating partner but if you are you also have to pray that he changes or God gives you the grace to move on. Actually it's in the bible, you can call off a marriage if a partner was caught cheating but guess what you can't re-marry.

3. A lot of women always "police" their partner's finances, please stop. You go oh why did you buy that or why did you send that amount to your mother or why did you spend that amount on clothes. Stop it... You're micro-managing your partner and one day he will start hiding so many things from you. Let him be a man, I'm not saying don't guide or have insight of what your man is doing but don't take it to the next level. The only time you're allowed to micro-manage every single expenditure and income of your husband is when you're both sharing the cost; I mean when you do 50/50 even at that you still should know were to draw the line. If he is caring for the family and providing as he should, spend less time telling him what to do and spend more time encouraging him and praying for him.

4. Women we naturally like to nag, yes it's in our nature but we need to understand the way men are wired. Too much talk make them run away, too much harassment makes them think oh this woman wants to take my manhood position. Yes, men think like that. If your are upset, talk about it, make your point and end it there. Please don't go on and on; you will only push him away and one day push him to the wrong hands.

5. Truth be told, let your man have his time out with his friends. Yes I just said that. You too should also have time out with your ladies. If you've kids, you can always do something without your children. It doesn't make you a bad mother, you need your ME and ALONE time once in a while. Remember you were once a single lady before becoming a wife, partner or parent; so sometimes explore more things about yourself, treat yourself for dinner, a day at the spa or whatever makes you happy. You will make your relationship better and stronger when you both give yourselves space to explore what makes each of you who you are.

6. Hmmmm this one is tricky but it's the truth. Are you married? If yes, please can you stop telling your single friends the issues you have in your home. Please stop. They can never offer you the best advice, they're not married and won't be able to understand what it takes to stay married. Most of the time, they will laugh at you at your back or better still try and steal your man since you can't keep him or are not happy. If your husband is good, keep it to yourself; if your husband is bad, take it to God and seek counseling from someone who will not be biased or take your side or the side of your husband.

7.Don't ever compare your partner to another.. I mean it; comparison is like telling someone oh you're not good enough, ok here I know someone who is better than you. No man is perfect and yes you are not perfect either, so why look for perfection in someone else. Look for things that you love in your partner and count your blessings. For all you know, you've it better. Oh Mr Okon doesn't keep late nights, he is always with his wife, he is always with his children, oh can't you see how happy they're. My darling you're digging your marriage deep, one day you will realize that Mr Okon isn't a saint and I pray by then you've not destroyed your own home

 
To be continued next week