Are you a married woman or in a serious relationship? If yes you need to read this.
Rules to live by:
1. Are you happy in your marriage/relationship? If Yes, keep doing whatever it is you're doing and always give room for improvement. If No, find ways to be happy without your partner, also find ways to bring your partner closer, find things that you guys can do together as a couple, it strengthens a relationship.
2. You find out your partner is cheating on you; what are you going to do? Will you call off the relationship or divorce? If your answer is Yes, that's good go for it. If your answer is No then try and resolve what caused it in the first place. I always ask myself if you are not going to divorce then no point knowing if his cheating or if he cheated on you. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying every man should cheat and shouldn't be penalized for doing so but guess what whether you like to hear it or not; it's a bloody man's world, and men get away with a lot. Pray you're never faced with a cheating partner but if you are you also have to pray that he changes or God gives you the grace to move on. Actually it's in the bible, you can call off a marriage if a partner was caught cheating but guess what you can't re-marry.
3. A lot of women always "police" their partner's finances, please stop. You go oh why did you buy that or why did you send that amount to your mother or why did you spend that amount on clothes. Stop it... You're micro-managing your partner and one day he will start hiding so many things from you. Let him be a man, I'm not saying don't guide or have insight of what your man is doing but don't take it to the next level. The only time you're allowed to micro-manage every single expenditure and income of your husband is when you're both sharing the cost; I mean when you do 50/50 even at that you still should know were to draw the line. If he is caring for the family and providing as he should, spend less time telling him what to do and spend more time encouraging him and praying for him.
4. Women we naturally like to nag, yes it's in our nature but we need to understand the way men are wired. Too much talk make them run away, too much harassment makes them think oh this woman wants to take my manhood position. Yes, men think like that. If your are upset, talk about it, make your point and end it there. Please don't go on and on; you will only push him away and one day push him to the wrong hands.
5. Truth be told, let your man have his time out with his friends. Yes I just said that. You too should also have time out with your ladies. If you've kids, you can always do something without your children. It doesn't make you a bad mother, you need your ME and ALONE time once in a while. Remember you were once a single lady before becoming a wife, partner or parent; so sometimes explore more things about yourself, treat yourself for dinner, a day at the spa or whatever makes you happy. You will make your relationship better and stronger when you both give yourselves space to explore what makes each of you who you are.
6. Hmmmm this one is tricky but it's the truth. Are you married? If yes, please can you stop telling your single friends the issues you have in your home. Please stop. They can never offer you the best advice, they're not married and won't be able to understand what it takes to stay married. Most of the time, they will laugh at you at your back or better still try and steal your man since you can't keep him or are not happy. If your husband is good, keep it to yourself; if your husband is bad, take it to God and seek counseling from someone who will not be biased or take your side or the side of your husband.
7.Don't ever compare your partner to another.. I mean it; comparison is like telling someone oh you're not good enough, ok here I know someone who is better than you. No man is perfect and yes you are not perfect either, so why look for perfection in someone else. Look for things that you love in your partner and count your blessings. For all you know, you've it better. Oh Mr Okon doesn't keep late nights, he is always with his wife, he is always with his children, oh can't you see how happy they're. My darling you're digging your marriage deep, one day you will realize that Mr Okon isn't a saint and I pray by then you've not destroyed your own home
To be continued next week
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