Hello Readers
I have been married for 4years. I'm married to my friend of 7years. I have no father inlaw. he died when my husband was still very young and my Mum in-law raised him on her own.
My husbands mum is very religious and has never visited us without trying to convert us to her religion (she is Jehovah Witness).and we are Pentecostal.
It was my husbands birthday/wedding anniversary last week and I received a message from my mother in-law asking if we could come over to hers as she already made dinner to celebrate with us. I apologized to her nicely and told her we already made plans to go out with friends and it was almost time for the outing it won't be nice to keep people waiting.
She promptly texted my husband and said she had been cooking all day and I refused to come over to hers and that my excuse was flimsy. Mind you it was my husband who didnt want her over since she always throws the religion in our face. Anyway, I sent her a message to say it wasn't nice of her to lie to my husband about me. She then replied with a very long message telling me how she single handedly raised my husband and how I'm trying to create a gap between her son and herself. That if I love myself I should better dance to her tune or else get ready for a second marriage.Hmmmmm! That she's trying to find her place within our marriage! Im sorry but I didnt realize mother in laws had places within our marriage. Am I wrong to think that. I think she is overstepping her boundaries. This isnt the first time either. She is always calling and texting really rude and abusive messages.
We invite her over about once a month for Lunch and go to hers every other weekend that we aren't busy and each time ends with her getting upset because we are all going to 'burn in hell' since we wont convert. Im at a loss here. I adore my husband but am completely lost about how to handle this. Please someone help.
Annoy, it is very wrong and rude for u to send ur mother inlaw a text message that she lied to your husband about your actions. how can u tell ur mum inlaw sh lied? Haba, what has gotten over we ladies...from the way u sound its obvious that u want to separate her son from her! women generally are always jealous with their sons, not to talk of a woman that raised her son all alone.in marriage, you choose ur fight with inlaws especially! that is why we say in marriage we play politics.. you better go ad apologies to her before you eventually loose ur man.
ReplyDeletemy tot exactly Ojay @texting her. plus you texted her based on the message she sent to her son, that is also wrong.
DeleteRULE...never ever text ANYONE in annoyance.
SOLUTION...tell your husband about it..explain ur side as humbly as you can. Let him know how deeply you would like you both and his mum to be in good terms.say it like this { honey, i am not really happy about how we and mumsy do not always agree. it makes me really sad and i would not want her to think that i am taking you away from her. please speak with her and make her understand your stand in this matter}..Hmmmm, she set trap for you u, u sef waka enter...that's what she does when she calls or text you regarding situations tell her u would ask her son and when you ask him, request that he passes the information/answer to his mother/ when he has done this still call her and tell her what he said. do not act like you are aware he had already called her. OR BETTER STILL..when she calls or text you ignore it for 30mins to 1hr then get back to her apologizing for missing her calls that you were not with ur phone or any other good reason{she might have gotten really anxious and asked her son whatever she wants to know} do not reveal to your husband this SENSE OH...
just my tots!
Some of us forget we have sons nd one day they wld bring a wife in. If our daughter inlaw calls us a liar how wld we feel?
ReplyDeleteOk madam u adore ur husband and can't accommodate the mum hmmmm,I advice u try not to be the one to gv her answers as she invited u guy ur answer would hv been ok ma I will tell my husband. Then u go and discuss with ur husband if u guys agree on what she will not like let him be the one to tell her if the other way round then u call her and sound excited
ReplyDeleteHmm! @ anonymous, sincerely if U want your husband, try to make peace with your mother Inlaw cos that woman is like a wounded lion now. When she finishes with your husband, U no go believe your eyes. Thank God she told U in plain language that if U don't want to remarry, dance to her tune. U have to be very diplomatic in dealing with in laws. Cos no matter what, they still remain family and your husband sees his mum as one that has been there for him alone all these years.
ReplyDelete