My younger sister is carrying my husband's baby

Dear Eneche

My name is Linda  i live in ikoyi Lagos, my friend and neighbour gave me the link to your blog to post her story.I write because I feel very sorry for her , since we have being living together she has never had issues with anyone .she has a very down to earth personality. She was married for about 15years with four lovely daughters .she decided to bring her younger sister who then was in ss1(high school) to come live with her, she entrusted her home into the hand of this girl without suspecting anything wrong.this said sister started sleeping with her husband without my neighbours knowledge until the bubble busted when the younger sister started changing, always falling sick  and I from a distance saw something wrong and I called the attention of my neighbour that all was not well.which gradually we discovered she was pregnant and for who?it was my neighbour's husband.The useless did not deny the pregnancy to my friend's dismay he accepted that he is the one responsible for her pregnancy any body who is not happy should pack out and in a any case he would be getting married to her.A family meeting was called and after much talk and deliberation the family concluded that it is best they stay in peace and she should thank God is not an outsider but her same blood,she was shocked that this came from her family members 'She was so shocked and scared that she had no one in world to support her ..this neighbour of mine has  moved out of the house for a younger sister whom she picked to help...what a cruel world'she is now the shadow of herself'. She asked me to write her story after she read a post  of chief bridesmaid dating her friends husband. I quote my neighbour as she spoke in tears  "Is it because all my kids are girls? My bible tells me that children are the heritage of God not male children". Her own blood stabbed  her in the face.. someone should help me tell my friend and neighbour tha all will be well.

Sweet beginning turns sour

I met my husband as a teenager in secondary school,while he was a university student from a wealthy home, He was always calling me his future wife then. He was so nice to me that he took up my education and saw me through university.it was while I was in the the university, we had our first contact which I got pregnant .I aborted the pregnancy because,I didn't want anything to disturb my academics and also, my parents will be so disappointed in me .
we have been married for 7years  without my own children, but I discovered few years into our marriage that my husband already had 2 kids with another woman, at first I was furious but I forgave and decided to keep calm since he had them before we had our proper marriage' even though ;he didn't tell me until I found out myself.
I adopted my sister's son whom we decided to raise as ours without any body knowing he is not ours,we moved to a new location where every body saw him as our son..but my husband's sexual escapades with other women continued, and each time I hear of it and I confronted him,it would always end up in him flogging me with his belt like his child and also reminding me of how poor my family is, like it's a crime to be from a poor background! I tried to speak with his elder sister and got same insult cos that is the way they saw me.
I travelled sometime ago to see my sister and on this faithful day i returned unannounced to see my husband with another woman on our matrimonial bed.with goose pimples all over my body,  I broke down in tears and ran out to stay at my friends place ,with the hope of him looking for me to apologise but he never did.my neighbours discovered we had a quarell and decided to talk with him into making peace, but this man told my neighbours all our secrets, he even went as far as saying i was a barren woman,that the boy I call my son isn't mine. He also told a lie of me dating younger boys which is not true, he knows that's what will gain him people's sympathy.
I decided to go back home and try to make our marriage work but I met the doors locked and couldn't gain entrance into the apartment as my husband has changed the locks of all the doors and insisted that I must come with my father to beg him before he takes me back. please, is this not an insult on my person ? Is it now a crime to come from a poor background? Because that's the most insults i get from my hubby and his family. And as I write this am presently squatting with a friend while my husband is frolicking around town with other ladies.
Please what should I do because I have prayed and fasted but God seems to be far from me.

He walked out on us 6 years ago

My estranged husband and I courted for over a year before we tied the knot.shortly after our wedding my husband lost his job. I felt really bad and prayed that God should quickly bless him with another job, He was able to secure a good job in a short time but then, the monster in him started to manifest, Which some warning signs were there earlier but I pretended to be blinded by love to conquer all odds.

My husband started comparing me with the high class women in his new office,all of a sudden I became a local champion. He was always saying that his colleagues were more beautiful and cultured,He beats and brutalised me sexually. When I discovered I was pregnant for our first child,I still broke the good news to him despite his brutality.
To my utmost surprise, he told me to go to hell with the bastard I was carrying inside of me and i quote "you can't force me to love you even with dozens of children". I ignored him and decided to take care of myself and my unborn child. During one of my antenatal visits to the hospital I was diagnosed  with gonorrhoea,  how on earth did I contact it? if not from the cheating monster I call my husband, I told him about the diagnosis and the next day he came home at night and moved his things out of the house.His words to me was "I'm moving out from here to a better place, you and the bastard inside of you can remain here". I cried holding his legs and begging him not to go.all my tears and plea was in vain as he walked out on me that night.
Few months after he left I had a beautiful baby boy, I struggled to secure a job in a telecommunication company where I have risen to the position of a manager. After picking the pieces of my life in a bitter pill, my son is 6 years old and doing very well in school. Now the monster of a father wants to come back and be part of our lives.a man who disowned his child and never saw him being birth not to talk of 6 years after! Someone should please wake me up from this dream of no return. He's blaming the devil for his actions. Was it also the devil that asked his family members not to look for us in the last six years?
My mind was made up 6 years ago and on no account will I consider him because he destroyed  me 6 years ago, and since then, I've been unable to date again because it affected me psychologically and I began to see all men as the same. I want to raise my son alone in love. Somebody should please refer him to this blog and tell him to stay away from us.

MY MOTHER IN -LAW AND MY MARRIAGE.

As I received from a DOASW reader.

Dear Eneche

I've been married for 7years with 3 beautiful children. The first year of my marriage was the only one I could call blissful. Even though my mother in law did not give me breathing space; as she was always in my home after the wedding. I was able to accommodate her and tolerated her excesses.
My husband is the eldest of 5 siblings, which he bares responsibility for all, even those that are married.I just wanted to give you an insight of how my home is.
We recently moved into our own home and I must say it's very big and comfortable. Everything has been going very well until his cousin and younger brother decided to come live with us. I initially had no objection to this; after all I am not going to sleep in all the rooms at the same time; even though I was only informed a day to their arrival; and was promised by my husband that this wasn't a permanent visit.
Being the good wife as I am, I asked that they stay in the guest room of the main house. Little did I know that this decision was going to hunt me.
Today makes it a year and 3months since these young men moved in. As most young men are, they keep late nights and do not have any regard for the family home.I spoke to my husband that he should please ask them to move to the BQ , as the BQ is empty. I got an immediate negative response and resistance to what I had proposed.
My husband said and I quote "my family can not stay in the BQ". I made him understand that the guest room was made for short term visitors and guests, and to state the obvious his brother and cousin are not guests. I gave more reasons that we have female kids and I do not want them to be exposed to any harm.Little did I know that my husband told his brother what we had discussed in confidence. Before I could say jack, my brother in law had called his mother that I said they should leave his brother's house.
As always I received a telephone call from my mother in law, with insults showered on me and instructions that I should pack and leave her son's house.
I don't need to go further but as a house wife, I waited patiently for my darling husband to come back and explain what had happened.
To my greatest surprise, my husband told me that what ever his mother says stand. If I want to have peace and still want to live here, I should leave his siblings alone.
We all know how of several stories of molestation and I do not want my daughters to ever go through that. I am constantly living in fear and lock my girls up in the room; I don't want to called a bad mother, who never noticed or took extra attention at her kids.
After 7 years of marriage, struggle and happiness, it is shocking to see that his priorities are his mum and siblings. I am sad and confused. What do I do? Where do I go from here? How safe are my little angels? Please help me.

MY CHIEF BRIDESMAID IS MY HUSBAND'S SIDE CHICK

Somebody is about to commit murder. Hmm!!!!

In my early years in kano as an Ijaw girl, I lived with four friends in a one room apartment. life was so tough that we had to work so hard to pay our rent and live up to expectations as graduates. Few years later we all relocated to abuja  and two out of  my friends got married. I was happy for them and was also praying to God for my own husband to come forth.
As I was approaching  37 years ,God smiled on me. I met the man I am married to at a wedding ,and immediately he saw me he was head over heels saying" this is my wife"6 months after we met, we got married and one of my friends who was yet to be  married was my chief bridesmaids.my husband does practically everything for me even when I don't ask him. I am even on the payroll  of his company. God blessed us with beautiful children in seven years of marriage,The way my husband showers me with love I never for one day suspected he was cheating on me up on till recently when I found out that he was in a serious relationship (side chick again)with someone in abuja.
I contacted my friend  (chief  bridesmaid) to help me investigate and trace the person dating my husband as I now live in lagos.my friend called me up few days later  saying I should relax my mind that my husband wasn't cheating on me, I believed her despite  the fact that my earlier informant insisted he was. I decided to follow him on his  next trip to abuja unknowingly to him , and that was when I discovered the unbelievable. My so called friend "chief bridesmaid " is the person my husband is dating in abuja. I returned to lagos not allowing my husband to know my findings, My husband still showers me with love but how could he be so callous. (Sad face) he  stooped  so  low to date my friend . How can  he pretend to love me and he is a frequent flyer to abuja to see "my friend. How can my chief bridesmaids stab me in the back?  I am yet to confront  them (my husband and friend) but I'm so hurt that I feel like committing  murder. Please somebody help me as I'm loosing my mind by the day.

A BROKEN RELATIONSHIP IS BETTER THAN A BROKEN MARRIAGE.

My EX and I dated for almost eight years and we were engaged to be married.Preparations already in place Hall booked ,bridal clothes ready etc. My wedding dress was so beautiful  that I was so looking forward to that day. But guess what I called off my wedding few weeks to the supposed date.because the man I was going to marry was nothing but a cheat. I wish there was another word to qualify his own level of cheating because he feels  that it's a normal thing for a guy to cheat.
He was a worker in the church we both attend and was even cheating on me with other fellow church workers. Chai (Lwkmd)  I just felt I should keep praying for him since we have dated for that long  and there's nothing God can't change.  I was so shocked at some "Christians then that were telling me that they can't believe I am calling off my wedding because of that reason. (Cheating). Why will I marry a man for example, he tells me he's going to buy something and I don't believe him.
It wasn't an easy decision for me but I'm glad I did. I should have left the relationship earlier but I kept hoping things would change.it was God that gave me that courage if not I will be in a frustrated marriage by now. You know when God wants to bless you sometimes ,it would be through the hard way. I remember how many times elderly people called me to change my mind and continue with the wedding but with help help of God and close family and friends I stood my ground.
The last  straw was few weeks to our wedding I went over to his place but that day God just wanted to punish him .he made me have access to his phone and I found out he was not just cheating with the person I thought but sleeping with 2/3 other people and he was even lying to one of them that we are having misunderstanding and the babe was busy getting angry saying he has to pick her or fix the issues with me (lol)all the babes knew me oo na only me blind. But that day was the end of our relationship.
Why I'm I sharing my story , is just to encourage people in such relationships and are finding it difficult to let go because of the fear of "what people will say or where, do I start from".  A man that you can't change while dating What makes you feel is after he has paid your bride price and feels you are now is "property "(African mentalty) that you want to change him. Say no to emotional and domestic abuse...do  not ignore the negative warning signal you see in your relationship.
Some women believe that it is in a man's  nature to cheat which I totally  disagree. I am not saying a man should be 100% faithful  even though that is what  every woman wants including myself. But at least when misbehaving respect the main woman and  be remorseful.
I am happily married now. I am not saying my marriage is perfect but the least you can give me is peace of mind. I wish all single ladies in relationship all the best and pray for every marriage having crises at the moment .God help us all

I FEEL USED CHEATED AND FRUSTRATED

My husband is seriously cheating on me and rubbing it in. I wake up everyday wishing it was a dream, but my dream is almost becoming a reality as my husband and boyfriend of seven years is planning on marrying his side chick (the way it is I'm the side chick) we started with a humble beginning with the support of my parents. God has smiled on my husband and all of a sudden I'm not good enough to be his wife.
He keeps late nights and travels with the girl.It's so bad that he managed to val me on valentines day  but the so called girlfriend was the one who picked what he used to val me.
I have begged him to tell me what I have done but he can't hold on to anything. To think I never dated any before him and I am being treated like trash.And to my greatest  surprise my inlaws are aware and fully in support of his extra marital affairs . I have asked people that know the girl to help me beg her(maybe she  doesn't know he's married)and even put a call through to her severally  but she has turned deaf ears. He even goes out with our child and the girl.Is it now a crime that I prayed to GOD to bless and increase  my husband because the blessing is beginning  to look like bad luck to me . But my bible tells me that the blessings of GOD maketh  rich and add no sorrow, why is mine causing me pain. I have asked my husband if he's no longer interested in the marriage but he won't say a word. How can men be so cruel and wicked no conscience whatsoever.I feel cheated, used and frustrated. Please pray for me I still love my husband and want my home back I pray my husband and the girl sees  this.