As I received from a DOASW reader.
Dear Eneche
I've been married for 7years with 3 beautiful children. The first year of my marriage was the only one I could call blissful. Even though my mother in law did not give me breathing space; as she was always in my home after the wedding. I was able to accommodate her and tolerated her excesses.
My husband is the eldest of 5 siblings, which he bares responsibility for all, even those that are married.I just wanted to give you an insight of how my home is.
We recently moved into our own home and I must say it's very big and comfortable. Everything has been going very well until his cousin and younger brother decided to come live with us. I initially had no objection to this; after all I am not going to sleep in all the rooms at the same time; even though I was only informed a day to their arrival; and was promised by my husband that this wasn't a permanent visit.
Being the good wife as I am, I asked that they stay in the guest room of the main house. Little did I know that this decision was going to hunt me.
Today makes it a year and 3months since these young men moved in. As most young men are, they keep late nights and do not have any regard for the family home.I spoke to my husband that he should please ask them to move to the BQ , as the BQ is empty. I got an immediate negative response and resistance to what I had proposed.
My husband said and I quote "my family can not stay in the BQ". I made him understand that the guest room was made for short term visitors and guests, and to state the obvious his brother and cousin are not guests. I gave more reasons that we have female kids and I do not want them to be exposed to any harm.Little did I know that my husband told his brother what we had discussed in confidence. Before I could say jack, my brother in law had called his mother that I said they should leave his brother's house.
As always I received a telephone call from my mother in law, with insults showered on me and instructions that I should pack and leave her son's house.
I don't need to go further but as a house wife, I waited patiently for my darling husband to come back and explain what had happened.
To my greatest surprise, my husband told me that what ever his mother says stand. If I want to have peace and still want to live here, I should leave his siblings alone.
We all know how of several stories of molestation and I do not want my daughters to ever go through that. I am constantly living in fear and lock my girls up in the room; I don't want to called a bad mother, who never noticed or took extra attention at her kids.
After 7 years of marriage, struggle and happiness, it is shocking to see that his priorities are his mum and siblings. I am sad and confused. What do I do? Where do I go from here? How safe are my little angels? Please help me.
Hmmm His own kids safety means nothing to him.... What kind of bond is that between him and his mum .... African in laws ehhh....
ReplyDeleteIgnore them all oh! Na trouble dem dey find
ReplyDeleteYou have started on the right path by trying to keep your daughters safe. The only solution is for you to get on your knees and pray! The bible says;
ReplyDelete"That is why a man will leave his father and mother and will be united with his wife, and they will become one flesh" so no man can put asunder what God has joined!! This should be your prayer point and continue to be a good and wise wife. Leave the rest for God to handle.trust me once you start this prayer God will work some miracle for you. Like Sylvia said ignore them and go about your usual duties.
My sister, u need to pray for him, and try not to hate his people no mater what they do, try and ignore them. Treat them like your younger ones. If they want to brew more trouble, forget about them, it's difficult. But U have to. Try not to report either his siblings or his mum to him, cos U'll end up hurting cos of the things he'll say back. Above all, pray that God give U the grace to be patient. Try and be blind to do things.
ReplyDeleteIf not for trouble what's wrong with the BQ 4 Christ sake!
ReplyDeleteDear anonymous this is just d sdevil trying to steal your joy. Ignore them and pray them out of your house.
Be patient n seriously pray that God will take away any bitterness in your heart towards them n help you to love them (love conquers all) and that d word of God that says a man shall leave his father n mother n be joined to his wife will be d order in your home n that your husband will be a sensitive husband.
May God help you
My dear, I had a similar experience, my mother Inlaw moved into my house ASA we moved into our house and she felt we were comfortable, I tried to endure she and her kids as they were all in my house, I used to leave the sitting room for them and my kitchen doors always open and I made sure there was cooked food as and when due. With all their troubles, I try to avoid them by always staying in my room and I try not to complain about them to hubby, the day she tried to put up a fight with me, the son sent her and her children out of the house. They were in my house for 10 years but as i speak, they are all married and the ones that are still single are boys. They got jobs and left. So U have to pray that God will give them jobs and very comfortable ones do they can move out. Try and endure whatever it is. Ignore!!! Above all, pray for yourself, your children, hubby to be able to make right decision and for all them troubling U. Let God bless them so they can leave your hubby for U.
ReplyDelete