I met my husband as a teenager in secondary school,while he was a university student from a wealthy home, He was always calling me his future wife then. He was so nice to me that he took up my education and saw me through university.it was while I was in the the university, we had our first contact which I got pregnant .I aborted the pregnancy because,I didn't want anything to disturb my academics and also, my parents will be so disappointed in me .
we have been married for 7years without my own children, but I discovered few years into our marriage that my husband already had 2 kids with another woman, at first I was furious but I forgave and decided to keep calm since he had them before we had our proper marriage' even though ;he didn't tell me until I found out myself.
I adopted my sister's son whom we decided to raise as ours without any body knowing he is not ours,we moved to a new location where every body saw him as our son..but my husband's sexual escapades with other women continued, and each time I hear of it and I confronted him,it would always end up in him flogging me with his belt like his child and also reminding me of how poor my family is, like it's a crime to be from a poor background! I tried to speak with his elder sister and got same insult cos that is the way they saw me.
I travelled sometime ago to see my sister and on this faithful day i returned unannounced to see my husband with another woman on our matrimonial bed.with goose pimples all over my body, I broke down in tears and ran out to stay at my friends place ,with the hope of him looking for me to apologise but he never did.my neighbours discovered we had a quarell and decided to talk with him into making peace, but this man told my neighbours all our secrets, he even went as far as saying i was a barren woman,that the boy I call my son isn't mine. He also told a lie of me dating younger boys which is not true, he knows that's what will gain him people's sympathy.
I decided to go back home and try to make our marriage work but I met the doors locked and couldn't gain entrance into the apartment as my husband has changed the locks of all the doors and insisted that I must come with my father to beg him before he takes me back. please, is this not an insult on my person ? Is it now a crime to come from a poor background? Because that's the most insults i get from my hubby and his family. And as I write this am presently squatting with a friend while my husband is frolicking around town with other ladies.
Please what should I do because I have prayed and fasted but God seems to be far from me.
we have been married for 7years without my own children, but I discovered few years into our marriage that my husband already had 2 kids with another woman, at first I was furious but I forgave and decided to keep calm since he had them before we had our proper marriage' even though ;he didn't tell me until I found out myself.
I adopted my sister's son whom we decided to raise as ours without any body knowing he is not ours,we moved to a new location where every body saw him as our son..but my husband's sexual escapades with other women continued, and each time I hear of it and I confronted him,it would always end up in him flogging me with his belt like his child and also reminding me of how poor my family is, like it's a crime to be from a poor background! I tried to speak with his elder sister and got same insult cos that is the way they saw me.
I travelled sometime ago to see my sister and on this faithful day i returned unannounced to see my husband with another woman on our matrimonial bed.with goose pimples all over my body, I broke down in tears and ran out to stay at my friends place ,with the hope of him looking for me to apologise but he never did.my neighbours discovered we had a quarell and decided to talk with him into making peace, but this man told my neighbours all our secrets, he even went as far as saying i was a barren woman,that the boy I call my son isn't mine. He also told a lie of me dating younger boys which is not true, he knows that's what will gain him people's sympathy.
I decided to go back home and try to make our marriage work but I met the doors locked and couldn't gain entrance into the apartment as my husband has changed the locks of all the doors and insisted that I must come with my father to beg him before he takes me back. please, is this not an insult on my person ? Is it now a crime to come from a poor background? Because that's the most insults i get from my hubby and his family. And as I write this am presently squatting with a friend while my husband is frolicking around town with other ladies.
Please what should I do because I have prayed and fasted but God seems to be far from me.
Dear lady , dont allow the man to belittle and degrade u. U can do much beta without him. If u forgive him, he will still do still hurt u. Stay strong and face d Goliath wit no fear..
ReplyDeleteDear annonymous are you working? do you have a job? it seems to me you build your life around your husband! you are a graduate, after schl what did you do with ur certificate? your parents are poor does not mean you too must b poor... you can only b better than them if you go extra mile to use what u have to get what u want! leave him alone go and equip yourself take care of youur son and he will come looking for you.. nobody associates with failure only success! as long as u don't improve yourself, u will be talked down at by any man
ReplyDeleteBut me I'm just amazed at the way people behave as if it a crime to be poor, don't even know what to say, but I think I agree with Ojay that she should get a job if she has none, such men will not let U work and they end up frustrating your life for U, my dear U need to get something doing no matter how small.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmm. I would want to believe 8f I were in your position I would leave and never look back. As far as his concerned he owns you, you are a property. He has no respect for you or your marriage that's y he can discuss your business with the neighbours. Get a job or if you have a skill start something. Ladies there are lots of world bank programme for women in Nigeria empowered yourselves if your husband won't. Adult learning training programmes are very popular theses day....go learn a skill Pls and earn to look after ur child
ReplyDeleteI feel awful and angry at this story. It's amazing what women put up with in the name of marriage. First, my dear sister you need to be financially independent. Money is power. Then of course I think u also need some time alone, men like your husband may think he's doing you a favour by being married to you. He will come to realize your worth the moment you make yourself relevant not just to him but to yourself. More importantly, take EVERYTHING to God. God bless you.
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