Mrs. Victoria Ambakadrimo, who stabbed husband to death remanded in prison

Mrs. Victoria Ambakadrimo, on february 4 2015 stabbed her husband Late Barr.Henry Gagariga, to death with a kitchen knife on the throat ,around 11pm after a quarrel in their Bayelsa home,finally appeared before a state high court in Yenagoa for the first time.

The presiding judge, Justice A.S Rotimi, adjourned proceeding to 18th June 2015, to enable the prosecuting (the state) hand over certain forensic evidences to the defence counsels before hearing commence.
However, an appeal by the prosecuting counsel to have Victoria remanded at the Okaka medium security prison in Yenagoa until final judgment is read was granted.

Though the accused Victoria pleaded not guilty to the one count charge of murder leveled against her, she cried through out the hearing even to the point when she was escorted to prison at the end of the court session. However, an appeal by the prosecuting counsel to have Victoria remanded at the Okaka medium security prison in Yenagoa until final judgment is read was granted.

From Hot size 8 to 16

From a male doasw reader.

Dear Eneche

I met my wife in a club few years ago,she was doing her youth service in Abuja.
Immediately I saw her I knew that she was the chosen one. I didn't need any prophecy to confirm that she was mine. I remember that she was with some wild looking girls that night but there was something about her that struck me; also not to forget that not all church girls are wife material.

I asked her for her number and she declined; but as a sharp guy I was able to get her number from one of her friends that night. As usual she was forming and fronting but we started talking and should I say the rest is history.
My wife was tall, dark and beautiful. Mehn!! my wife was a hot size 8 chic when we met. I am very sure if she contested with agbani then she would have won. But just after 2 kids my wife is looking like my grandmother.

She is so dirty and unkept; I'm sorry for my choice of language, that's the only way to describe how she is now. She is always looking confused as if she's the first person to have kids. I understand that it's not easy for her but my wife doesn't bother to dress up or do the things that got me attracted to her.
My wife as we speak is a size 16! Yes you heard me right. I saw the bold and beautiful before I decided to go for a model as a wife; and I thought to myself then worse case after kids she will be a size 12 or something.
I understand she's given birth but I mean I know people that have kids and still look good even with their size.

My wife can stay all day eating and watching African magic yoruba. I have talked to her severally and about starting a business while waiting for a job but she keeps saying she can't be dragging debt with people. So now her full time job is Dstv channel 157.
Please I'm not giving excuses or trying to justify why men cheat I'm just speaking for myself. No matter how a man loves a woman their some things that puts one off.

I thank you for creating this medium for all to interact but please encourage your fellow married ladies that marriage shouldn't change their way of life negatively. We like our wives to look hot for us. There are devourers in this town.

By the way I think I should get a prize for being the first male on the blog to speak up. In everything I've said, I still love my wife.

Ladies corner by Mary Azumara

Are you a married woman or in a serious relationship? If yes you need to read this.
Rules to live by:

1. Are you happy in your marriage/relationship? If Yes, keep doing whatever it is you're doing and always give room for improvement. If No, find ways to be happy without your partner, also find ways to bring your partner closer, find things that you guys can do together as a couple, it strengthens a relationship.

2. You find out your partner is cheating on you; what are you going to do? Will you call off the relationship or divorce? If your answer is Yes, that's good go for it. If your answer is No then try and resolve what caused it in the first place. I always ask myself if you are not going to divorce then no point knowing if his cheating or if he cheated on you. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying every man should cheat and shouldn't be penalized for doing so but guess what whether you like to hear it or not; it's a bloody man's world, and men get away with a lot. Pray you're never faced with a cheating partner but if you are you also have to pray that he changes or God gives you the grace to move on. Actually it's in the bible, you can call off a marriage if a partner was caught cheating but guess what you can't re-marry.

3. A lot of women always "police" their partner's finances, please stop. You go oh why did you buy that or why did you send that amount to your mother or why did you spend that amount on clothes. Stop it... You're micro-managing your partner and one day he will start hiding so many things from you. Let him be a man, I'm not saying don't guide or have insight of what your man is doing but don't take it to the next level. The only time you're allowed to micro-manage every single expenditure and income of your husband is when you're both sharing the cost; I mean when you do 50/50 even at that you still should know were to draw the line. If he is caring for the family and providing as he should, spend less time telling him what to do and spend more time encouraging him and praying for him.

4. Women we naturally like to nag, yes it's in our nature but we need to understand the way men are wired. Too much talk make them run away, too much harassment makes them think oh this woman wants to take my manhood position. Yes, men think like that. If your are upset, talk about it, make your point and end it there. Please don't go on and on; you will only push him away and one day push him to the wrong hands.

5. Truth be told, let your man have his time out with his friends. Yes I just said that. You too should also have time out with your ladies. If you've kids, you can always do something without your children. It doesn't make you a bad mother, you need your ME and ALONE time once in a while. Remember you were once a single lady before becoming a wife, partner or parent; so sometimes explore more things about yourself, treat yourself for dinner, a day at the spa or whatever makes you happy. You will make your relationship better and stronger when you both give yourselves space to explore what makes each of you who you are.

6. Hmmmm this one is tricky but it's the truth. Are you married? If yes, please can you stop telling your single friends the issues you have in your home. Please stop. They can never offer you the best advice, they're not married and won't be able to understand what it takes to stay married. Most of the time, they will laugh at you at your back or better still try and steal your man since you can't keep him or are not happy. If your husband is good, keep it to yourself; if your husband is bad, take it to God and seek counseling from someone who will not be biased or take your side or the side of your husband.

7.Don't ever compare your partner to another.. I mean it; comparison is like telling someone oh you're not good enough, ok here I know someone who is better than you. No man is perfect and yes you are not perfect either, so why look for perfection in someone else. Look for things that you love in your partner and count your blessings. For all you know, you've it better. Oh Mr Okon doesn't keep late nights, he is always with his wife, he is always with his children, oh can't you see how happy they're. My darling you're digging your marriage deep, one day you will realize that Mr Okon isn't a saint and I pray by then you've not destroyed your own home

 
To be continued next week

My younger sister is carrying my husband's baby

Dear Eneche

My name is Linda  i live in ikoyi Lagos, my friend and neighbour gave me the link to your blog to post her story.I write because I feel very sorry for her , since we have being living together she has never had issues with anyone .she has a very down to earth personality. She was married for about 15years with four lovely daughters .she decided to bring her younger sister who then was in ss1(high school) to come live with her, she entrusted her home into the hand of this girl without suspecting anything wrong.this said sister started sleeping with her husband without my neighbours knowledge until the bubble busted when the younger sister started changing, always falling sick  and I from a distance saw something wrong and I called the attention of my neighbour that all was not well.which gradually we discovered she was pregnant and for who?it was my neighbour's husband.The useless did not deny the pregnancy to my friend's dismay he accepted that he is the one responsible for her pregnancy any body who is not happy should pack out and in a any case he would be getting married to her.A family meeting was called and after much talk and deliberation the family concluded that it is best they stay in peace and she should thank God is not an outsider but her same blood,she was shocked that this came from her family members 'She was so shocked and scared that she had no one in world to support her ..this neighbour of mine has  moved out of the house for a younger sister whom she picked to help...what a cruel world'she is now the shadow of herself'. She asked me to write her story after she read a post  of chief bridesmaid dating her friends husband. I quote my neighbour as she spoke in tears  "Is it because all my kids are girls? My bible tells me that children are the heritage of God not male children". Her own blood stabbed  her in the face.. someone should help me tell my friend and neighbour tha all will be well.

Sweet beginning turns sour

I met my husband as a teenager in secondary school,while he was a university student from a wealthy home, He was always calling me his future wife then. He was so nice to me that he took up my education and saw me through university.it was while I was in the the university, we had our first contact which I got pregnant .I aborted the pregnancy because,I didn't want anything to disturb my academics and also, my parents will be so disappointed in me .
we have been married for 7years  without my own children, but I discovered few years into our marriage that my husband already had 2 kids with another woman, at first I was furious but I forgave and decided to keep calm since he had them before we had our proper marriage' even though ;he didn't tell me until I found out myself.
I adopted my sister's son whom we decided to raise as ours without any body knowing he is not ours,we moved to a new location where every body saw him as our son..but my husband's sexual escapades with other women continued, and each time I hear of it and I confronted him,it would always end up in him flogging me with his belt like his child and also reminding me of how poor my family is, like it's a crime to be from a poor background! I tried to speak with his elder sister and got same insult cos that is the way they saw me.
I travelled sometime ago to see my sister and on this faithful day i returned unannounced to see my husband with another woman on our matrimonial bed.with goose pimples all over my body,  I broke down in tears and ran out to stay at my friends place ,with the hope of him looking for me to apologise but he never did.my neighbours discovered we had a quarell and decided to talk with him into making peace, but this man told my neighbours all our secrets, he even went as far as saying i was a barren woman,that the boy I call my son isn't mine. He also told a lie of me dating younger boys which is not true, he knows that's what will gain him people's sympathy.
I decided to go back home and try to make our marriage work but I met the doors locked and couldn't gain entrance into the apartment as my husband has changed the locks of all the doors and insisted that I must come with my father to beg him before he takes me back. please, is this not an insult on my person ? Is it now a crime to come from a poor background? Because that's the most insults i get from my hubby and his family. And as I write this am presently squatting with a friend while my husband is frolicking around town with other ladies.
Please what should I do because I have prayed and fasted but God seems to be far from me.

He walked out on us 6 years ago

My estranged husband and I courted for over a year before we tied the knot.shortly after our wedding my husband lost his job. I felt really bad and prayed that God should quickly bless him with another job, He was able to secure a good job in a short time but then, the monster in him started to manifest, Which some warning signs were there earlier but I pretended to be blinded by love to conquer all odds.

My husband started comparing me with the high class women in his new office,all of a sudden I became a local champion. He was always saying that his colleagues were more beautiful and cultured,He beats and brutalised me sexually. When I discovered I was pregnant for our first child,I still broke the good news to him despite his brutality.
To my utmost surprise, he told me to go to hell with the bastard I was carrying inside of me and i quote "you can't force me to love you even with dozens of children". I ignored him and decided to take care of myself and my unborn child. During one of my antenatal visits to the hospital I was diagnosed  with gonorrhoea,  how on earth did I contact it? if not from the cheating monster I call my husband, I told him about the diagnosis and the next day he came home at night and moved his things out of the house.His words to me was "I'm moving out from here to a better place, you and the bastard inside of you can remain here". I cried holding his legs and begging him not to go.all my tears and plea was in vain as he walked out on me that night.
Few months after he left I had a beautiful baby boy, I struggled to secure a job in a telecommunication company where I have risen to the position of a manager. After picking the pieces of my life in a bitter pill, my son is 6 years old and doing very well in school. Now the monster of a father wants to come back and be part of our lives.a man who disowned his child and never saw him being birth not to talk of 6 years after! Someone should please wake me up from this dream of no return. He's blaming the devil for his actions. Was it also the devil that asked his family members not to look for us in the last six years?
My mind was made up 6 years ago and on no account will I consider him because he destroyed  me 6 years ago, and since then, I've been unable to date again because it affected me psychologically and I began to see all men as the same. I want to raise my son alone in love. Somebody should please refer him to this blog and tell him to stay away from us.

MY MOTHER IN -LAW AND MY MARRIAGE.

As I received from a DOASW reader.

Dear Eneche

I've been married for 7years with 3 beautiful children. The first year of my marriage was the only one I could call blissful. Even though my mother in law did not give me breathing space; as she was always in my home after the wedding. I was able to accommodate her and tolerated her excesses.
My husband is the eldest of 5 siblings, which he bares responsibility for all, even those that are married.I just wanted to give you an insight of how my home is.
We recently moved into our own home and I must say it's very big and comfortable. Everything has been going very well until his cousin and younger brother decided to come live with us. I initially had no objection to this; after all I am not going to sleep in all the rooms at the same time; even though I was only informed a day to their arrival; and was promised by my husband that this wasn't a permanent visit.
Being the good wife as I am, I asked that they stay in the guest room of the main house. Little did I know that this decision was going to hunt me.
Today makes it a year and 3months since these young men moved in. As most young men are, they keep late nights and do not have any regard for the family home.I spoke to my husband that he should please ask them to move to the BQ , as the BQ is empty. I got an immediate negative response and resistance to what I had proposed.
My husband said and I quote "my family can not stay in the BQ". I made him understand that the guest room was made for short term visitors and guests, and to state the obvious his brother and cousin are not guests. I gave more reasons that we have female kids and I do not want them to be exposed to any harm.Little did I know that my husband told his brother what we had discussed in confidence. Before I could say jack, my brother in law had called his mother that I said they should leave his brother's house.
As always I received a telephone call from my mother in law, with insults showered on me and instructions that I should pack and leave her son's house.
I don't need to go further but as a house wife, I waited patiently for my darling husband to come back and explain what had happened.
To my greatest surprise, my husband told me that what ever his mother says stand. If I want to have peace and still want to live here, I should leave his siblings alone.
We all know how of several stories of molestation and I do not want my daughters to ever go through that. I am constantly living in fear and lock my girls up in the room; I don't want to called a bad mother, who never noticed or took extra attention at her kids.
After 7 years of marriage, struggle and happiness, it is shocking to see that his priorities are his mum and siblings. I am sad and confused. What do I do? Where do I go from here? How safe are my little angels? Please help me.

MY CHIEF BRIDESMAID IS MY HUSBAND'S SIDE CHICK

Somebody is about to commit murder. Hmm!!!!

In my early years in kano as an Ijaw girl, I lived with four friends in a one room apartment. life was so tough that we had to work so hard to pay our rent and live up to expectations as graduates. Few years later we all relocated to abuja  and two out of  my friends got married. I was happy for them and was also praying to God for my own husband to come forth.
As I was approaching  37 years ,God smiled on me. I met the man I am married to at a wedding ,and immediately he saw me he was head over heels saying" this is my wife"6 months after we met, we got married and one of my friends who was yet to be  married was my chief bridesmaids.my husband does practically everything for me even when I don't ask him. I am even on the payroll  of his company. God blessed us with beautiful children in seven years of marriage,The way my husband showers me with love I never for one day suspected he was cheating on me up on till recently when I found out that he was in a serious relationship (side chick again)with someone in abuja.
I contacted my friend  (chief  bridesmaid) to help me investigate and trace the person dating my husband as I now live in lagos.my friend called me up few days later  saying I should relax my mind that my husband wasn't cheating on me, I believed her despite  the fact that my earlier informant insisted he was. I decided to follow him on his  next trip to abuja unknowingly to him , and that was when I discovered the unbelievable. My so called friend "chief bridesmaid " is the person my husband is dating in abuja. I returned to lagos not allowing my husband to know my findings, My husband still showers me with love but how could he be so callous. (Sad face) he  stooped  so  low to date my friend . How can  he pretend to love me and he is a frequent flyer to abuja to see "my friend. How can my chief bridesmaids stab me in the back?  I am yet to confront  them (my husband and friend) but I'm so hurt that I feel like committing  murder. Please somebody help me as I'm loosing my mind by the day.

A BROKEN RELATIONSHIP IS BETTER THAN A BROKEN MARRIAGE.

My EX and I dated for almost eight years and we were engaged to be married.Preparations already in place Hall booked ,bridal clothes ready etc. My wedding dress was so beautiful  that I was so looking forward to that day. But guess what I called off my wedding few weeks to the supposed date.because the man I was going to marry was nothing but a cheat. I wish there was another word to qualify his own level of cheating because he feels  that it's a normal thing for a guy to cheat.
He was a worker in the church we both attend and was even cheating on me with other fellow church workers. Chai (Lwkmd)  I just felt I should keep praying for him since we have dated for that long  and there's nothing God can't change.  I was so shocked at some "Christians then that were telling me that they can't believe I am calling off my wedding because of that reason. (Cheating). Why will I marry a man for example, he tells me he's going to buy something and I don't believe him.
It wasn't an easy decision for me but I'm glad I did. I should have left the relationship earlier but I kept hoping things would change.it was God that gave me that courage if not I will be in a frustrated marriage by now. You know when God wants to bless you sometimes ,it would be through the hard way. I remember how many times elderly people called me to change my mind and continue with the wedding but with help help of God and close family and friends I stood my ground.
The last  straw was few weeks to our wedding I went over to his place but that day God just wanted to punish him .he made me have access to his phone and I found out he was not just cheating with the person I thought but sleeping with 2/3 other people and he was even lying to one of them that we are having misunderstanding and the babe was busy getting angry saying he has to pick her or fix the issues with me (lol)all the babes knew me oo na only me blind. But that day was the end of our relationship.
Why I'm I sharing my story , is just to encourage people in such relationships and are finding it difficult to let go because of the fear of "what people will say or where, do I start from".  A man that you can't change while dating What makes you feel is after he has paid your bride price and feels you are now is "property "(African mentalty) that you want to change him. Say no to emotional and domestic abuse...do  not ignore the negative warning signal you see in your relationship.
Some women believe that it is in a man's  nature to cheat which I totally  disagree. I am not saying a man should be 100% faithful  even though that is what  every woman wants including myself. But at least when misbehaving respect the main woman and  be remorseful.
I am happily married now. I am not saying my marriage is perfect but the least you can give me is peace of mind. I wish all single ladies in relationship all the best and pray for every marriage having crises at the moment .God help us all

I FEEL USED CHEATED AND FRUSTRATED

My husband is seriously cheating on me and rubbing it in. I wake up everyday wishing it was a dream, but my dream is almost becoming a reality as my husband and boyfriend of seven years is planning on marrying his side chick (the way it is I'm the side chick) we started with a humble beginning with the support of my parents. God has smiled on my husband and all of a sudden I'm not good enough to be his wife.
He keeps late nights and travels with the girl.It's so bad that he managed to val me on valentines day  but the so called girlfriend was the one who picked what he used to val me.
I have begged him to tell me what I have done but he can't hold on to anything. To think I never dated any before him and I am being treated like trash.And to my greatest  surprise my inlaws are aware and fully in support of his extra marital affairs . I have asked people that know the girl to help me beg her(maybe she  doesn't know he's married)and even put a call through to her severally  but she has turned deaf ears. He even goes out with our child and the girl.Is it now a crime that I prayed to GOD to bless and increase  my husband because the blessing is beginning  to look like bad luck to me . But my bible tells me that the blessings of GOD maketh  rich and add no sorrow, why is mine causing me pain. I have asked my husband if he's no longer interested in the marriage but he won't say a word. How can men be so cruel and wicked no conscience whatsoever.I feel cheated, used and frustrated. Please pray for me I still love my husband and want my home back I pray my husband and the girl sees  this.

SHOULD I STAY, SHOULD I GO?

5 YEARS OF DECEIT


I am a 39 years old lady almost in my 40s. I have been married for 8 fantastic years without a child. My husband is amazingly wonderful to me, a loving and caring husband even in the absence of children. We have fasted and prayed for God to bless us with kids of our own.
I noticed that each time I suggest we seek medical assistance my husband frowns at it and pushes it aside saying "it is God that gives children at the right time we will have ours. 5years into the marriage our families insisted  we get medical help to know where we stand ,with that he had no objection.
various test were conducted I got the shocker of my life when the result was out. My husband has only one testis and low sperm count (No wonder he was refusing medical help) he was aware of his problem and did not carry me along. He has gone extra mile to show me more love but as it is I am on a cross road because I am getting closer to menopause and to think I have ben living in deceit is heart breaking.
I am tempted to move out of my home. How long do I live with this trauma?I need my own children .i am tempted to start a relationship with another because I seriously need my own kids. Please Pray for me..I am confused.

DESPERATION LED ME TO DEPRESSION.

 My Bitter Experience

I am a Nigerian who lives in the northern part of the country. I am beautiful and hardworking but running faster than my shadow got me into my present condition.
I come from a family of four girls and I happen to be the last girl. seeing my elder sisters in their late 40's and not yet married I decided to play fast. I wasn't ready to follow the trend of not getting married.
I started keeping bad companies which eventually led me to doing things that I am not proud to say , I started using diabolic means(juju) to get what I wanted. I became friends with some guy that lives abroad(via Facebook) and we got chatting and talking on phone at some point of our friendship I thought it wont be a bad idea to marry him and decided with the help of my friends to hold him with otumokpo (black magic) so we agreed to get married without the slightest idea of his family background.
I remoted him to Nigeria with the help of the baba(herbalist) my friends introduced me to. We  had our wedding without my family's consent I paid people to stand in as my parents to ensure there was no hindrance from my family. Two months after the wedding the guy my "husband" returned to Ireland without me and promised to come for me in 2months.
I waited five months and didn't hear from him so I decided to take my vacation to the united kingdom with the hope of finding my way to Ireland which I did. when I got Ireland I was able to trace him because he gave me his full details when he was under my charm (crying) on getting to Ireland I discovered that my supposed husband was married with 2kids. I had to come back to Nigeria depressed and frustrated  did I mention that I was already pregnant for him.
I was always falling sick that I had to resign my bank job. I cant tell my family what I have done and also don't know what to tell my unborn child about his dads because he was under a spell I don't think he even remembers getting married to me. I am really ashamed of myself  as I have been misled by the act of my desperation. My life is in shambles  no job no husband, nothing to hold on to.
THE SCALES HAVE FALLEN AND I CANT STILL PICK UP MY PIECES BECAUSE THERE IS NONE LEFT.

JUST FOUND OUT MY HUSBAND HAS A 3YEARS OLD SON

WONDER SHALL NEVER END..

 
Let me start by thanking you for giving women like me the opportunity to speak out.
I already feel like a burden has left me as I am typing. may God bless and keep your home..

I married the father of my children six years ago and everyday of that marriage have being endured not enjoyed. the man I took a vow to love and cherish for the rest of my life is not only a cheat but very irresponsible and has no regard or respect for me.

There's bridge in communication, I have to take date for love making (prior notice). he has never raised his hands on me which is not a plus because he's not even suppose to..
 Straight to my case. I just found out my husband has a 3yrs old child by another woman. What it means is that he had the child after we got married. 
I have evidence and know where his baby mama lives. I don't know if I should confront him.. I'm confused because I still love him but a part of me see him as evil because any man that can keep such secret doesn't have a conscience and can kill.

 

DO NOT CALL ME BARREN

My husband and i went to same university, but he was a class ahead of me.in the cause of our relationship he showed some trait of trying to hit me but i felt it was because he loved me and was jealous seeing me having other male friends(FIRST WARNING SIGNAL I IGNORED).

 Eventually we broke up before he graduated and both went our seperate ways. after 2 years upon       graduation we stumbled on each other after much talk he asked me to marry him saying he was a          changed person promising heaven on earth. i accepted his proposal and we had a proper wedding.

      

 Two years into our marriage he resumed abusing me. Beating and kicking me on my tummy Calling      me a barren woman how coukd i have conceived when he kicks my belly at will ,forgetting the series  of abortion i had for him while we were dating(FORGIVE ME OH LORD)                 

. I married him with my 2 eyes intact but as i type one of my eyes is wider than the other as a result of   knife that he threw at me on one of the beating ,which gave me a deep cut. he insults my family at will and inflicts pain on me.

 The last straw was when he hit a plank on my head and i hit him back and my "husband" at 1 am was   chasing me with cutlass which he brought out from under the bed(sounds like africa magic but true) i    called my brother and a close friend who took me back home next morning to make peace(without       forming peace talk i wont leave the house with anything).

A week after, he traveled and i moved out all my belongings to somewhere safe. He has been              looking for me asking everyone to beg me to return home. when i think of the knife that almost killed me and has damaged my eye for life i honestly dont feel like going back. His family members are on            my case asking me to return.. I AM CONFUSED ...PLEASE HELP

True confession of a Lady in *ust..sorry Love

I'm a lady in my early 30's, I dated my boyfriend for several years . unknowingly to me he was cheating on me and the side chick

now happens to be the Mrs
I was broken and didn't ever think I could forgive him. he has come back to me crying and saying he's not happy in his marriage. but the sad is that, am still in love with the same man that jilted me and married another. I still want him back even with married status.
I have tried to date another again but its not just working for me.
I love him but don't want to be a side chick.

I know i am going to get lots of insults and negative comments but the truth must be told.

My life My Marriage

Good day Ene. I was glad when my friend invited me to the DOASW. The invite came at the right time. I will like to remain anonymous. I'm married with Two kids and by the grace of God we are very comfortable but my husband is very stingy.He loves me but doesn't give me money . I work but no matter how little I still feel I'm his responsibility. I noticed some changes in my husband and suspected he was cheating. I confronted him but he denied severally. On Wednesday night 13th May to be precise he woke me up at night that he had a confession. That I should please forgive him he's been cheating on me for 2 years in a 5 years marriage and that his conscience won't let him. He feels guilty whenever he sees me..I wish I am dreaming.. Pleases I'm confused... A lot on my mind..all I hear is revenge. Pleases sisters help me.