From a male Reader:
Here is where the problems come in..
I've known and been "kinda friends" with my wife's sister (my sister in law) for years now (she is 20, and i'm 32), but the last 2 or 3 years as she's grown up, she has gotten really attractive, in fact she looks like my wife's twin (even my wife says so) recently (about the last year or so) we have started chatting more and more online, she comes over to hang with me and watch movies etc... and I didn't mind because I was hanging out with attractive girls (my wife and her sister) and honestly I really enjoy spending time with her.
We have similar interest (what movies we like, what games we play, outdoor activities etc..) well recently I realized my feelings were becoming..more than just friendly, and I know what a dark road that is.. so I quickly decided to break off as much contact with my SIL as I could, yeah I still see her at family events (probably once a week) but removed her from my skype, and stopped chatting on FB stuff like that..
...Well it took about a week of me trying to ignore her and she started to ask why...
So now I'm at this weird crossroads. I'm not sure whether I should talk to the SIL and leave the wife out, or the other way around.. or talk to both?
If I talk to my wife, I'm worried she'll get really angry, or won't understand..and then spend all her time thinking i'm going to cheat on her? I dunno I don't want to go to family events and have my wife staring at me wondering if I still have feelings for her sister or something..
and at the same time, if I talk to my SIL, what if she didn't know that I liked her? and then I just look like the creepy sleazy older brother in law.. I dunno
what do I do? :
I know hw it feels, it's really nt easy. Ask the holyspirit to strengthen and help you. Will advise u deal with it d best way u can coz it cld end in a disaster. Opening up 2 ur wife might ruin a lot of tinz coz no wife will understand dat, as 4 ur sis in law, d trust will be gone 4eva and ur wife will neva trust her bn around u again. u hv a long way 2 go as long as u are in d family, which will end up causing a strain in ur r/ship. Keep ur distance 4rm ur sis inlaw and get d interest outta ur wife! It is well with you.
ReplyDeleteHaaa yeye man.he should take his eyes and mind off her. Who knows maybe d girl likes him too .
ReplyDeleteI have read 3 times and I could only put myself in your shoes for me to advice you....I would not tell my wife or the SIL anything....you know your feelings towards her is wrong so you need to keep checking yourself. ...
ReplyDeleteThank God for his first approach,he broke all communication contact. I don't think he needs to talk to his wife or d sister about it
ReplyDeleteHe has done well by cutting away from some of the things that keep them too close but u know is ur sister in law and u will always be in same circle..Now table it before God to give u the grace to over come ur feelings towards and begin to see her like ur own sister.and before you know it ur peace of clear conscience is restored!
ReplyDeleteLike Patience said, u did well by realizing urself on time. Avoid such communications dat puts u in such flimsy situation, don't be alone with her. U don't need to tell dem both if u can handle it. U should pray,
ReplyDeleteHe realized dat there was a problem and he's taking d right approach to resolving it. He just needs to pray about it. God help him.
ReplyDeleteWell I feel he should tell the wife wat he's feeling, coz once he does dat the temptation of ever having any secret attraction which will eventually result into an affair with d SIL will just die forever. It might affect d wife a bit but every sensible woman wld understand dat d man loves n respect her enough to tell her the truth abt his feelings towards her sister, wen this happens then the wife now has d sole responsibility to manage the situation
ReplyDeleteI give kudos to the man for cutting off as per the close contacts with d SIL that was great WISDOM
Hnnnnm! Dangerous. Its even better he tells his pastor for me ooooh
DeletePls christy how does he say it....lol...honey I'm sexual attracted to your sister....hot egbati be dat o
DeleteLol Sis Funmi ok let me guess hmmmmm lolll ok .... Honey i don't like the way I'm feeling aboutt ur Sister and I want u to help me to be on track n retrace my fleshiness lolll
DeleteLet him keep staying away n ask for Gods grace to let go of dat feeling his having for her since he knows is not right is one step ahead
ReplyDeleteNot feelings but lost if I may say,if he can control himself then there is no need Telling his wife ..if not he should tell her stylishly (indirectly).
ReplyDelete