Dear readers
I'm sure this is a hot topic so I'm hoping to get some feedback (and probably criticism) but I'm at wit's end. To start, I love my wife more than anything in the world. We've been married for 8 years and have a 6 year old daughter together. Our sex life was always great but in the last year it has started to fade. She became suspicious that I was having an affair but it was nothing of the sort. Her weight gain has started to make her less attractive and I was less often "in the mood". I worry about our relationship if the attraction becomes lost and I don't want to hurt our relationship with the subject.
My wife was a curvy. When we got married, she was about a size 8. She was an absolute knockout. In the last years she's now a size 16 almost 18.She's not fat, however,she's near obese.I just want her back where she was when we married, and for a brief time after she had our child.
I was terrified at approaching the subject but eventually did and she started working out but her diet made it impossible to lose any weight. I started dieting too to encourage her but shes already complaining that I've lost so much which doesn't fit me
My wife actually wants me to gain weight now. I think it is because she would rather us both be overweight than lose the weight herself.
After months of her badgering me about the possibility of having an affair, I broke down and told her the truth. I basically told her that I've lost some attraction to her because of her weight gain. She was furious and wants a divorce. She says I'm insensitive and selfish. I think attraction is important in a relationship and I worry that if I do nothing, our marriage will struggle. Not just because I might look elsewhere, but because she might as well (due to the lack of intimacy).
Has anyone else encountered this? How have you dealt with it? Am I really insensitive? Please reply and let me know what you think as I'm desperate for guidance. I hate feeling this way. I'm ashamed.
hmm! oga sir, i dont think you are asking for d impossible however i think you have to put certain things into consideration.
ReplyDeletefirst of all, asking your wife to be d way u met are will be very inconsiderate of u... its not possible but i think you asking for too much knowing d nature of women after birth... for me, its a simple thing! there are better ways you could have told her than saying you are not attracted to her any more! what else do you want her to think? pls you should help her achieve it instead of complicating issues for her..u can do this in luv, ensuring she watches what she eats as well as engaging in exercise.
In my opinion telling your wife she's unattractive will only push her to depression and make her gain more weight. I think you should start looking at things differently... Try and recall your wife before you got married to her, was it only her looks that attracted you to her? What was her personality like? I'm sure she was full of life and optimistic about her future, I'm sure you had some fun times together and she probably made you laugh because of the kind of person she is. Please don't use weight gain as an excuse to look elsewhere, she is still that same person inside. She needs your love to remember that, to remember what she pictured her future to look like. And not this mess she's in. I don't want to make excuses for women, but bros e no easy! Things never go back to where they used to be, don't let celebrities fool you abeg. Bottom line, love your wife for who she is and not what she looks like!
ReplyDeleteLets all be sincer in our comments a woman who was a size 8 now a 18 is truly bad. Only after a child and not in dozens. There is a word called attraction if the Shap and size was what sparked your relationship then there isn't any harm trying to always keep fit and keep the love going; the fact is that she might not be able to get back to her size 8 but she could still look healthy and more attractive.
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