Dear Eneche
I got married to my boyfriend of 5 years just 1 year ago.we are expecting our first child which we are excited about. Everyone knows That my husband is loving and caring and he takes very good care of me. However,my husband doesn't initiate any intimacy in the bedroom.it makes me feel quite ugly. We have spoken and fought about it but he just says he finds me attractive,which I find very hard to believe. I dress up wear makeup, curl my hair before he comes home from work but he never notices. The strange thing is i don't think he is cheating. My husband spends all his time when not working watching tv, and his phone. He never has a conversation with me.when I try to initiate one, i get a response with him still staring at the tv or phone. It makes me feel worthless. I understand those are his hobbies but he does that all the time.
I just lost my banking job all I do now is cook..clean..laundry and look after his aged mum. See i do not mind that but all i want is him to acknowledge how hardworking I am even with a difficult pregnancy. I'm only 27years I just want him to look at me the way he use to.. talk to me. Have sex with me. Appreciate me. I secretly cry.i cry when we fight.i'm lonely. I have no friends or family here so no social life either. I love him and i think he loves me too. How does a man change suddenly after his marriage? I think about divorce already. I want to leave but my baby is on her way to the world soon so I can't. Everyone thinks i'm happy but i'm just a sad, lonely, pathetic pregnant house wife who just wants her partner to touch her at night. Please help me.
Maybe he has other issues he is battling with and thinking of his unborn child and as all men are they like to keep to themselves when in pain.
ReplyDeletePray to God to let him reveal what it is that has made him change.
Never stop been the loving wife though and as you know we are usually very emotional when we are pregnant so don't try to count any little thing he does against him.. May God bless your marriage.
My dear, I read ur comment and broke down. Pls dear keep putting in ur best as a wonderful wife, don't stop loving him. Keep praying and I know his gonna change for d better ok.
ReplyDeleteDear Anony. Wat ur going through is not peculiar to you at all infact it happens all the time, remember ur relationship even after marriage has different phases n u must learn very early dat u cant have the same attention nor experience all thru. Ur feeling dis way now more so because ur fully at home n not working so get urself busy besides d house chores sometin dats fun for u to do, like a pet project to channel ur emotions too
ReplyDeleteStill try to talk to him about it dou in the best way possible, don't get frustration n feel ugly like u said, this is just a phase in ur marriage n it must surely pass dear
Is that what u are considering leaving ur marriage for with a baby on the way...common, some men stay away when their wife is pregnant while some become more loving and caring.all same just endure it just a 9mths course and u will become girly again..may be that is his own way of feeling for u not to bother u.
ReplyDeleteThey need divine intervention in their home cos dis is a delicate matter.From wat I read her trying to talk to him won't make any difference. D pregnancy could be wats putting him off I'm just saying. Let divorce be far from ur mind now.
ReplyDeleteUr feeling dis way now more so because ur fully at home n not working so get urself busy besides d house chores sometin dats fun for u to do, like a pet project to channel ur emotions too
ReplyDeleteStill try to talk to him about it do it in the best way possible, don't get frustration n feel ugly like u said, this is just a phase in ur marriage n it must surely pass dear
Dear Anonymous just try and endure soon u'll be back to ur old self again. Continue to love and appreciate him and put God 1st
ReplyDeleteHang in there divorce should be far from her mind. ......could just be distant because of the pregnancy or he is just tired......Your hormones are also all over the place right now and you feel very emotional......you really need to keep busy....engage yourself....take a course online, learn a new skill or focus on starting your own baking business...
ReplyDeleteIndeed pregnancy makes some men act weird Ooo mine husband couldn't just touch my tummy when it started growing big. I didn't get angry, I knew it was new for him and perhaps, my big tummy even scares him. Men are strange. My sister, just hang in there plus u need something to keep you busy.
ReplyDeleteFocus on having a healthy pregnancy and leave d rest to God Your hubby will surely come around once your baby is here. @ Pat.....��. U couldn't have said it better
ReplyDeletebabe annoy, only if your hubby was acting this way before pregnancy dat there should be cause for alarm if not, ur pregnancy could b d cause and shortly it will be over
ReplyDeleteHmmm dear sister why divorce of all solutions? You don't need to take d difficult option wen u are yet to try the simple ones.
ReplyDeleteYour marriage is too young for dat kind of ur tot.
Anyway if you must knw wat u are going tru is not new or strange. So many men run away from dia wives wen dia pregnant. Honestly I can't explain it but it happens. Just wait until u ve ur baby b4 u can be sure weda he has changed or not.
I ve 2 children and for each time I got pregnant you will think d pregnancy belong to someone else. In fact I had to asked him once if i begged him to get me pregnant. Hmmmm d only answer I got was dat Jane am just pitying u now and am so scared to get close to u. I told my doctor to call him and talk to him dat we need to be making love often that it will help me during delivery. That was what God used in breaking d fear. But after d baby came everything returned back to normal.